The Hufflepuff Bias

Well, I have more time than I realized, so I'm going to see if I can fit in another post in the time before I need to go.

When Pottermore first existed, I created an account  and got sorted into Gryffindor.    Recently, I was curious if I took the Sorting test again what the results would be.  I was given a set of almost completely different questions.  I'm fairly certain the two repeat questions I had, I gave the same answer as previously.  This time I was sorted (caps? no caps?) into Hufflepuff (which my spell check would like to correct to kerfuffle).

Why am I sharing this information?  It's seemingly random, very nerdy, and mostly off topic.  The reason I'm sharing this information is because I actually do feel like Hufflepuff fits me quite well.  When I was younger I liked Gryffindor and identifed strongly with the characters there, but I think I slowly realized Hufflepuff isn't an awful House, unlike many people would have you believe.

It's interesting to me that the other three Houses in Harry Potter are so popular.  Ravenclaw is for the smart kids, Gryffindor is for the brave kids (the jocks and athletes in many people's opinions), Slytherin is for the ambitious kids.  But then what is Hufflepuff for?

Well, I looked up the adjectives the Sorting Hat uses for your viewing pleasure (this site was a wonderful asset considering my actual copies of Harry Potter are all packed.  If you want to read the full Sorting Hat speeches, it has them there).h

House	Philosopher’s Stone	Goblet of Fire	Order of the Phoenix
Gryffindor	Brave at heart, daring, nerve, chivalry	Bravest	Brave deeds, bravest, boldest, daring
Slytherin	Real friends, cunning, any means to achieve their ends	Power-hungry, great ambition	Ancestry is purest, pure-blood, cunning
Ravenclaw	wise, old, ready mind, wit	Cleverest	Intelligence, sharpest mind
Hufflepuff	just, loyal, patient, true, unafraid of toil	Hard workers	"Teach the lot", "The rest"

As I said earlier, the three most popular Houses are Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw.  I want to briefly look at the connotations that their descriptors give.

Gryffindor:

• Brave- No bad prevalent connotations
• Daring- Usually described as a desirable trait
• Chivalry- Association with code of honor, and knights, very strong good connotations
• Boldest- Generally good connotation, but there is such a thing as being overly bold
• Brave Deeds- In the context of the song ("We'll teach all those/with brave deeds to their name") this means fame and fame can have a good connotation, but it can imply selfishness and shallowness

Slytherin:

• Real friends- good connotation, implies loyalty/depth of character
• Cunning- Though it can be used as a good trait, this is often used to imply that someone is misleading or out for their own gain
• Any means to achieve their ends- Really, this is just not good.
• Power hungry- Again, not a good thing really at all
• Great ambition- This can be a useful thing (I'm not overly fond of ambitious people but it can be good in many situations)
• Ancestry is the purest/pure blood- Not a good thing. Within in the story a very bad thing in fact.

Ravenclaw:

• Wise (going to include old with this)- This is something that people want, it generally comes with age and so children of 11 would be particularly impressive to be considered wise, even if they were not wise yet but just had the potential to become wise.
• Ready mind- Teachable, when I'm teaching someone this is a very useful trait
• Wit- This can be good because it implies cleverness and intelligence.   I would also say that this can fall under the same category as cunning occasionally.
• Cleverness- This is generally a very good descriptor for intelligence
• Intelligence- Intelligence is has good connotations.  But I would like to note that, at least within American culture, there exists a certain bias against intelligent people.
• Sharp mind- Okay, basically the same as all the rest, we get it, Ravenclaws are smart.

What's my point?  When I look over these they read as one dimensional to me.  Gryffindor people are brave, but what else?  Slytherin's use their guile to reap reward (oh, also they make good, true friends?).  Ravenclaw students are smart, which is repeated ad nauseam.  Now let's look at Hufflepuff's traits.

Hufflepuff:

• Just- Offhand, there aren't any bad connotations with come with this word.
• Loyal- This is a trait I prize above most, which means I'm biased, but this is important to relationships
• Patient- "Patience wins the day", "Patience is a virtue", shall I continue?
• True- It's interesting, this isn't a word that's used to describe people very often, but if I was described that way I think it would be some of the highest praise I could receive
• Unafraid of toil/Hard workers- Means they aren't afraid to get their hands dirty, they aren't given things, they work for them.  Some could say that it implies they are lower class, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.
• "Teach the lot"/"The rest"- Again, this is an interesting statement.  I think this particular descriptor didn't do a lot for Hufflepuff.  It implies that there was nothing special about those people.  They're all thrown into a group because they don't have one particular trait that makes them unique.

So Hufflepuff descriptors are interesting to me.  It they are fair and just, they are devoted to other people, they are willing to wait and not push the issue, and they are willing to work hard.  I feel like J.K. Rowling used "teach the lot" and "take the rest" to describe Hufflepuff because she didn't have one catchall word that she could use.

It's interesting (and possibly telling) to me that it's the least popular House.  They're good people who like other people and are willing to work hard.  There's no conniving, there's no pride, there's no showing off.  It's frustrating to me that our culture (and many cultures similar to the US) prefers blinding ambition to a good, but perhaps average person.  You don't need something that makes you "special and unique" to make you a worthwhile person.  Just do your best and work hard and be a good person.

I guess this post just shows why I tested as Hufflepuff this time around?

Note:  While there are some connotations that are fairly universal, talking with Jay has reminded me that many connotations are intensely personal, and so these connotations are my personal opinions.  Also, I am biased in general because I'm not a huge fan of how the Houses are structured in general.

Soul Mates Revisited

One short update before I leave for my interview.

Awhile back I posted on the subject of "The One", more frequently called Soul Mates.

Well over at What If xkcd, Randall Munroe has posted on the same topic.  I didn't feel comfortable jumping into the math of it when I was writing on the subject, but he has and it's a very telling story.

Hey Look, it's an Update

A lot's been going on in my life and as soon as my friends graduated college and then returned back to this area most of my spare time has been spent hanging out with them.  I stopped updating regularly in May, which is a long fucking time ago, so I'll update you on my life.

I started a show at the theatre I have been working with most often at the beginning of June.  I finished that production at the end of August.  It involved 45 children, five directors, and four stage managers.  It was by far the largest show I've worked and the first that had automation (where the scenery moves because of motors as opposed to be moved by people).  I was head asm and I was managing a crew of seven other people (strictly stage crew) and also checking in with four dressers.  To say the least, I was very busy.  But I think that the show went off very nicely.

While this was all happening we were all trying to hang out with Kat as much as possible, who was moving out of the state for what I count as the foreseeable future.  It was weird because I'm not sure I've ever had a friend move out of the state before.  I miss her, but she has a good job and seems to be getting on well.

What else did I do?  I went to Canada with Kelsey (who I have mentioned previously as Will) and her sister for an anime convention.  Kelsey and I both make stuffed, plush "toys" (as the border crossing person called them).  They sold pretty well actually and it was a ton of fun.

I've had the last three weeks off which is mostly good because Boyfriend, Lana, and Kelsey, and I move into an apartment this coming Saturday and I've been very busy packing up my entire life.  It's crazy some of the things I've kept from childhood.  I've moved plenty of times before, but never with the intention of moving out of my parent's house permanently.  It's a lot of work.

My twenty-somethingth birthday was a few weeks ago.  At the chance of earning older people's wrath, I'm still going to say that I feel really old now.  I'm out in the real world working and moving in with three of my favorite people.  Life this coming year will be interesting (also, I'm amused by the fact that I still base years off the school year).

That's mostly it I think.  A lot happened, too much to recount easily in one post.  Oh.  I have an interview at a theatre I haven't worked at tomorrow.  I keep hoping I'll get hired back at the other theatre, but they haven't contacted me.  Oh well.  I'm also refereeing volleyball, which is exciting because I've really missed it.

Broken Trust

Today was a very inauspicious first day of tech.  We got about as far as I expected us to, that wasn't the problem.


When we first showed up today the production manager came up to me and was like: "Kaylee, I have some bad news."  So of course it couldn't be good.  As it turned out, one of our crew members had dropped that morning before tech and we didn't have a replacement for her.


I spent much of my first hour in the theatre trying to find a replacement.  I called in one of my asms from a previous show and she filled in until she unexpectedly had to leave after dinner.  Then we just did the show (frustratingly because we don't have extra people) without that last person.


Luckily, we did find someone who was able to fill in every other day of tech and the run.  Unfortunately, it's an actor/director with power issues and an attitude problem.  I am so looking forward to having them backstage.


Then came the part of the day that just makes me incredibly mad.  When it got to be dinner break three of our actors came out on the stage and announced that their wallets had been stolen from their zipped bags in the dressing rooms.  And unfortunately two of these actors were seniors who had just received their graduation money and thus had a fair deal of cash in their wallets.


The three actors were just devastated.  I spent the first twenty minutes of my dinner break consoling them and helping them look.  Then I went and bought the two who had no other money dinner and came back and talked with them some more.  I ended up sending on of the actors, one of the most responsible and sweetest actors up to the balcony, because he was looking like he wanted to throw something.  I know that feeling and he needed to be alone.


Ten minutes later I went up and talked to him and I have never quite heard someone sound that broken.  He was beyond tears and he admitted several times that the hardest part for him was not that his wallet had been taken.  The hardest part was that if most likely had been taken by someone in the cast, someone who he had trusted completely before this.


It's not well known outside of theatre, but there is a great deal of trust between the actors, crew, etc.  Tablets, computers, wallets, even money frequently gets left out in dressing rooms because no outside intruders can get in and just no one would ever steal it.  I've never heard of theft in a theatre before. Ever.  And the fact that someone would break that trust, that complete and utter trust and that comes with people working on a show together, that is just devastating.


Once everyone was back from dinner the production manager made an incredibly somber announcement, urging whoever had taken the wallets to return them, no questions asked.  We then did a sweep of the dressing rooms with each actor looking through their own bag, unfortunately nothing turned out.  We would have called the police at that point, but the production manager and program director did one more sweep of the bags and found that the wallets had been returned to the original bags at some point after everyone made the sweep.


I'm very glad that everything was returned, but I'm also sadden that someone in my cast (or crew) would do that to their fellow actors.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As a result of those thefts, we also offered to lock everyone's valuables up in the safe backstage.  Most actors took me up on that offer and I was handed twenty+ wallets, purses, keys, cell phones.  It was almost awe inspiring, the trust those actors had in me.  I don't particularly like power and this was even more dangerous than most.  The fact that so many actors and children trusted me so completely is...heady, but not in a particularly good way.

That Perfect Moment

Super excited for my summer show now, but first I have to get through my current show.

Also I should probably be sleeping, but I had a random thought.

One thing I've been complemented on by just about every director I've worked with is this: I call an excellent show.

Calling a show isn't actually my favorite.  I would consider myself good at it.  Just like I would consider myself good at running tech.  But it's not my favorite part of the process.  I like seeing the actors learn and change throughout the rehearsal process too much for anything besides that to be my favorite (how many times can I use that word in a paragraph?)

And I think, possibly (and of course I could be wrong), the thing that sets my calling a part from some other stage manager is that I see that for every cue there is that one perfect moment for it to be called.  The moment where the actor steps from one area of the stage to another and the light comes up on them just as the other area goes out.  Or the lights complete right as the vocals for a song begin.

I try to find that exact moment for every cue.  It really is an art to me.  I was never a great designer and I could never be a director.  I honestly don't think I'm creative enough for it.  However, with calling a show there is something so elegant.  When called in that perfect moment you somehow don't even notice the lights change because that's just how it's supposed to be.  It's so seamless and part of the story.  I think I would be taken aback if someone who hadn't worked the show or wasn't a stage manager came up and complemented the timing, because it shouldn't be noticed.

I truly believe that a well called show should not be noticed by anyone not on the above list.  It needs to help draw in and keep the audience in the story.  Conversely, a poorly called show can so easily pull an audience member out of the show.  If you miss a bump (which is a 0 second light cue which goes on the final beat of a song) then it's jarring (and goddamn obvious).  If you miss bringing up another area of the stage, then the actors aren't lit.  It's a very subtle, very fine art.  And it is one that I love because it's almost always a challenge.

PS. To me it seems like my last posts have been really boastful....that's not how I'm trying to come off, I swear.

Projection

Look at this, three posts total, two days in a row.  How good of me.

Anyway, I could have sworn I already told this story on my blog, but I looked and I couldn't find it.  I think the truth is that I've been meaning to tell this story for ages and never got around to it.

Senior year of college I took the required directing class.  I was nervous.  Out of my mind nervous really.  My experiences with directors hadn't really been a good one during college and my experience with the professor had been even worse.  However I had to take it and, because it was a class many people failed, I wanted to take it earlier in the year than later.

The class ended up really not being that bad.  I'm fairly sure directing will never be for me.  It's not that I don't have an artistic opinion, because I do and I need to turn that part of my brain off while I'm stage managing.  It's more that I'm not comfortable being the one people turn to about the artistic vision.  I'm bad at having a unifying, whole artistic view.  However, the class went as well as could possibly be expected.

The reason for this background information is I want you to know this: Directing as a class scared me.  It scared me every day I had a class.  

At the end of the term we did an interesting exercise.  Each of us wrote down one word or phrase that described each person in our class.  At the very end of the last class period we would get our compiled lists.  It was a little bit of an unnerving experience.  Everyone was scared that people secretly hated them.  Everyone was scared that people would be mean.  We didn't have to look at our lists, but we did have give descriptors (confidentially) to our professor for every classmate.

I got my list and looked at it and it wasn't mean.  It wasn't brutal.  Confidentiality seemed to have brought out honesty from people, at least I can hope.  My list was primarily composed of words and phrases like: Stage Manager, Competent, Assured, Calm, Reassuring, Confident.  Twenty-one other people in the class and I got twenty descriptors like the ones above.  However, one person saw through me.  One person put: Scared.  And that was the truth.  The complete truth.

The point of this story?  You can influence what people think of you.  I wasn't calm in that class. I wasn't assured or confident.  I was terrified; scared out of my mind.  But I projected those attributes.  When at school I was constantly in my role as stage manager.  Even in classes I needed to seem calm and self-assured when I wasn't so that the actors I had classes with come to me during a show a trust me.  The traits above are how I want to be viewed by most people and that little exercise in directing gave me proof that it was mostly working.  One person saw through my projection.

Unfortunately, describing things as I am, it seems horribly manipulative.  And I suppose it is manipulative.  But it's not all a facade.  In directing it was because the scared feeling mostly overwhelmed everything else. However, at most points in my life I am self-assured, competent, calm, reassuring.  I don't get stressed easily, I enjoy helping people as best I can, I enjoy my job and it is a major part of who I am.  Even as a small child I have always been self-possessed.

These days whenever I start a new show at a theatre I've never worked at before I project calm, in control, and competent.  And those things are true.  I'm not the best with new settings though, so subconsciously, I tend to get extremely serious and formal because in truth, I'm not at ease.  I'm working with the same actors I worked with during winter and doing so is making me realize this fact.

For my winter show I was stiff and formal.  Towards the end I started to relax.  Tristan is hard not to relax around and the actors are so damn charismatic.  Now, coming into this new show, despite being flung into it head first, I'm comfortable with the actors.  I can joke with the actors and stage manager (who I actually had never met before Tuesday).  I'm still competent, the actors still trust me, but now I'm more myself.

What does this all mean?  I'm not entirely sure.  In part it's just a realization I've been coming to.  Despite all my descriptions above, I don't pretend to be who I'm not.  I honestly believe that with all my heart.  Even in directing I wasn't pretending to be someone else, I was just hiding being scared with other traits from my personality.  It's all rather complicated.  I also worry about being manipulative, but still, I can't show I'm panicked or upset in front of actors during a show, etc.  There are just some circumstances where I need to project a different emotion than the one I'm feeling.  

Onward

I really really need to get back into the habit of blogging.  It's a good outlet and I like sharing my thoughts.

Over the weekend I helped run auditions for my summer show (auditions were combined with two other shows).  My speech went something like this: "Hello. What's your name?  Mhhm. Mhhm.  Here's your number. Here's your audition packet for this show.  Here's your audition packet for that show.  Here is your audition information sheet.  Here is you audition form.  It's triple carbon-copy so please press hard. Return that and your resume and headshot when you're done."  When all was said and done I gave the spiel approximately 200 times over the course of several days.

Then on Tuesday I started rehearsals for my next show (it's a short one, total production time of only a month).  The stage manager (I'm asm again) for the show informed me on Monday that I would be in charge of rehearsals on Tuesday and Wednesday (my first days of rehearsals).  And so I was plunged into this show.

The director, choreographer, and music director don't talk.  They don't schedule.  They're never in the same room as each other.  We aren't getting the schedule out to the poor actors (junior high/high school age again) until the day of rehearsal.  Yesterday I ended up with five angry texts and one angry phone call from a parent.  The thing is, I had been given basically no information about the show at all.  I was handling things blind and the actors were asking for information I couldn't give them, because I just didn't know myself.  I felt so bad.

I finally talked to the stage manager, Cady, after yesterday's rehearsal.  She assured me that she was frustrated too and was in fact in the process of trying to handle things.  She gave me some background about the whole situation and suddenly I was feeling bad for her too.

So basically it's been an eventful week.  Add to the stories above that my friends are starting to arrive back in town and I am pretty  busy.