One short update before I leave for my interview.
Awhile back I posted on the subject of "The One", more frequently called Soul Mates.
Well over at What If xkcd, Randall Munroe has posted on the same topic. I didn't feel comfortable jumping into the math of it when I was writing on the subject, but he has and it's a very telling story.
Showing posts with label One Shot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label One Shot. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
Friday Night
I sometimes think I did college wrong. I was so focused on graduating and the shows that I was working that I didn't take any time to relax or party. Now I'm sitting at home alone on a Friday night doing paperwork and blogging, envying my high school actors as they go out and party.
I'm not really a partying type...really at all. But I guess the fact that my house is completely empty and everyone else is busy that is getting to me.
I thought I was going to type this long post about time usage and using it to relax and how I'm bad at it, but right now, all I can think about is just being lonely and a bit annoyed at myself.
I'm not really a partying type...really at all. But I guess the fact that my house is completely empty and everyone else is busy that is getting to me.
I thought I was going to type this long post about time usage and using it to relax and how I'm bad at it, but right now, all I can think about is just being lonely and a bit annoyed at myself.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Vacation Post Mordem
Back from visiting Lana and Kat. It was so much fun and exactly what I needed. This show is very draining, but now I'm actually glad to be back.
I do have to say the weather in the Pacific Northwest is less pleasing than elsewhere, but oh well.
My plane flight back went pretty much perfectly. I even got in half an hour early.
Yesterday was super long. I was up for about 38 hours straight and got maybe one-ish hours of sleep. After my flight, I had rehearsals, and after rehearsals I had a three hour production meeting. I didn't get home till almost 11p.
This post has pretty much no substance, but it really was basically a check in.
I do have to say the weather in the Pacific Northwest is less pleasing than elsewhere, but oh well.
My plane flight back went pretty much perfectly. I even got in half an hour early.
Yesterday was super long. I was up for about 38 hours straight and got maybe one-ish hours of sleep. After my flight, I had rehearsals, and after rehearsals I had a three hour production meeting. I didn't get home till almost 11p.
This post has pretty much no substance, but it really was basically a check in.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Airportstuck
I have done other things today, so hopefully I would be less angry when I finally posted this. My plan was mostly successful. Mainly I just feel resignation at this point.
Today I had a flight scheduled to leave at 1p so I could go visit Lana and Kat. I had a transfer I needed to make only short time after my first flight was scheduled to land. We were twenty minutes late in boarding. 10 minutes before the plane was supposed to be in the air we finally started to board. We then proceeded to sit on the plane for forty minutes. You see, the lavatory door (the only one on the small plane) refused to stay closed and they spent and entire hour troubleshoting the broken door.
Finally they got it fixed. We were in the air 50 minutes before my next flight was scheduled to be in the air. I spent the majority of the flight pleading with the world for my next flight to be delayed. No such luck. Me, and four other people, ran to the connecting gate just in time to see our plane pulling away from the gate. One woman in the group of five took charge and asked if they had been aware we had a connecting flight.
The woman at the desk cut her off and said that, Yes they had known, but the connection had been illegal. We all looked vaguely confused. And she then said: "I don't know how you did it. It was illegal and you shouldn't have been able to do it. So since it was illegal, we didn't hold the plane. Besides, it's not like you missed it by minutes, you missed it by ten minutes at least. Besides. Every time we hold a plane we lose money."
I'm not sure I've ever met anyone with spoke with quite that much emphasis on accusing words. We weren't accusing them of anyone. It was an unfortunate situation and they got us seats on the next plane leaving to our destination. However it completely pissed me (and the rest of the people) off to be blamed for the entire situation. As one woman pointed out after "you" had been emphasized four or five times, it was their system that had allowed us to book this so-called illegal connection in the first place.
Unfortunately this airport is fairly small, so the next flight was actually five hours after my original flight had been scheduled to leave. So I've been sitting here doing a lot of blogging and music listening in an airport that has practically no food after security and has two full closed wings. It's been rather frustrating. Oh well.
Today I had a flight scheduled to leave at 1p so I could go visit Lana and Kat. I had a transfer I needed to make only short time after my first flight was scheduled to land. We were twenty minutes late in boarding. 10 minutes before the plane was supposed to be in the air we finally started to board. We then proceeded to sit on the plane for forty minutes. You see, the lavatory door (the only one on the small plane) refused to stay closed and they spent and entire hour troubleshoting the broken door.
Finally they got it fixed. We were in the air 50 minutes before my next flight was scheduled to be in the air. I spent the majority of the flight pleading with the world for my next flight to be delayed. No such luck. Me, and four other people, ran to the connecting gate just in time to see our plane pulling away from the gate. One woman in the group of five took charge and asked if they had been aware we had a connecting flight.
The woman at the desk cut her off and said that, Yes they had known, but the connection had been illegal. We all looked vaguely confused. And she then said: "I don't know how you did it. It was illegal and you shouldn't have been able to do it. So since it was illegal, we didn't hold the plane. Besides, it's not like you missed it by minutes, you missed it by ten minutes at least. Besides. Every time we hold a plane we lose money."
I'm not sure I've ever met anyone with spoke with quite that much emphasis on accusing words. We weren't accusing them of anyone. It was an unfortunate situation and they got us seats on the next plane leaving to our destination. However it completely pissed me (and the rest of the people) off to be blamed for the entire situation. As one woman pointed out after "you" had been emphasized four or five times, it was their system that had allowed us to book this so-called illegal connection in the first place.
Unfortunately this airport is fairly small, so the next flight was actually five hours after my original flight had been scheduled to leave. So I've been sitting here doing a lot of blogging and music listening in an airport that has practically no food after security and has two full closed wings. It's been rather frustrating. Oh well.
Reusing Old Posts
I flipped through my livejournal posts from senior year which was fairly amusing, because they are so full of drama. Though to be fair, my senior year of high school actually was filled with all sorts of drama. I wasn't making things up. My last post on my live journal was fairly interesting though. I wrote it after seeing my first show in college. It's more of an abstraction than about my actual life, but I think it's pretty, so here you go:
Walking in to an enclosed, crowded space: an air plane, coffee shop, even a class; everyone is a stranger. You don't know them, there are no preconceptions. No baggage. You can choose who you wish to be and if you wish to reinvent, recreate yourself you can.
Sitting next to that person. Just sitting down in that open chair and remaining quiet until some one reaches into your life and grabs you.
They won't shut up, they keep talking and you grow more familiar with them but paradoxically uncomfortable. They pour out their story for you. You can't stop the flow of words. They won't let you. You can't get up and walk away, you need to be here, you need to be touched by this person. You can't.
Listening stirs you up. "No, how can you do that!?"
"No, you have to repent"
"Stop!"
"Don't leave it there! Please!?"
Your emotionally invested now. Some how, this person, this stranger you don't even know has you. You're in their power now and there's nothing you can possibly do about it. "So, what did you do? What's your story? What wrongs have you done?"
You shake your head, deny it all. "It doesn't matter. I've changed. I've repented. This is who I am now."
They smile. "Who are you? You who claims to be more than mere mortal. You have sins. You are human."
No. No. How can they know? How can they see everything? You shake, clench your hands, shudder. Let it drop. Please, please let it drop. Don't bring up my past.
They do. They leave your mind, but won't let go of their hold over you. They continue their story.
"How can human beings be so evil?"
"No, it doesn't feel good. I don't like it. No!" Deny it all.
You feel yourself talking. Opening up, what has been shut deep within you and your mask starts lower.
It starts to slip.
You tell them, as you have rarely told anyone. You open up and reveal your story. Slowly, ignoring details. Glossing over memories and your deeper past.
You can see them react and you like it. You like that they draw back a little, you can see their pity.
Maybe you tell the details now.
This is how it happened:
This is what I did:
How I lived:
They squirm. We're all human. What they said is true....
"Please, please help me!"
No, no, I can't possibly.
"Please. You've changed. Help me."
But what can I possibly do.
"Life itself is against me. Please......I need you..."
You relent.
It falls.
You tell them how you change. What is different now. How you repented and were made anew. You shed yourself and everything that formerly went with that.
Tears. Their emotions tear at you and you realize what's happening now. They deny they can. They deny they can change.
You can't escape. You plead with them. "No...no...please. You can change. I did."
But what if you didn't? The accusation stand their in their eyes. What if you can't escape who you are? What if no matter what, what if it's always a part of you...
It breaks.
Walking in to an enclosed, crowded space: an air plane, coffee shop, even a class; everyone is a stranger. You don't know them, there are no preconceptions. No baggage. You can choose who you wish to be and if you wish to reinvent, recreate yourself you can.
Sitting next to that person. Just sitting down in that open chair and remaining quiet until some one reaches into your life and grabs you.
They won't shut up, they keep talking and you grow more familiar with them but paradoxically uncomfortable. They pour out their story for you. You can't stop the flow of words. They won't let you. You can't get up and walk away, you need to be here, you need to be touched by this person. You can't.
Listening stirs you up. "No, how can you do that!?"
"No, you have to repent"
"Stop!"
"Don't leave it there! Please!?"
Your emotionally invested now. Some how, this person, this stranger you don't even know has you. You're in their power now and there's nothing you can possibly do about it. "So, what did you do? What's your story? What wrongs have you done?"
You shake your head, deny it all. "It doesn't matter. I've changed. I've repented. This is who I am now."
They smile. "Who are you? You who claims to be more than mere mortal. You have sins. You are human."
No. No. How can they know? How can they see everything? You shake, clench your hands, shudder. Let it drop. Please, please let it drop. Don't bring up my past.
They do. They leave your mind, but won't let go of their hold over you. They continue their story.
"How can human beings be so evil?"
"No, it doesn't feel good. I don't like it. No!" Deny it all.
You feel yourself talking. Opening up, what has been shut deep within you and your mask starts lower.
It starts to slip.
You tell them, as you have rarely told anyone. You open up and reveal your story. Slowly, ignoring details. Glossing over memories and your deeper past.
You can see them react and you like it. You like that they draw back a little, you can see their pity.
Maybe you tell the details now.
This is how it happened:
This is what I did:
How I lived:
They squirm. We're all human. What they said is true....
"Please, please help me!"
No, no, I can't possibly.
"Please. You've changed. Help me."
But what can I possibly do.
"Life itself is against me. Please......I need you..."
You relent.
It falls.
You tell them how you change. What is different now. How you repented and were made anew. You shed yourself and everything that formerly went with that.
Tears. Their emotions tear at you and you realize what's happening now. They deny they can. They deny they can change.
You can't escape. You plead with them. "No...no...please. You can change. I did."
But what if you didn't? The accusation stand their in their eyes. What if you can't escape who you are? What if no matter what, what if it's always a part of you...
It breaks.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
SOPA and PIPA
I'm not going to get into an obscenely long debate on this, because in my opinion, it's just wrong. These bills will invoke censorship in really potential horrible ways. In case you haven't been on a site that is on strike, today a great number of sites on the internet are going on strike as a way to boycott SOPA and PIPA. Zach Wiener at SMBC has said it best that I've seen so far:
Please, do whatever you can to stop these bills being passed. I know I intend to do so.
Note: Regular updates should resume soon. Maybe tomorrow. I have two posts handwritten that I just need to type up and I have ideas for some others.
If you're not aware of SOPA / PIPA, there are articles on wikipedia here:
Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) | Protect IP Act (PIPA)
If you want a tl;dr version, go here.
If you want to know who supports, who opposes, and who receives money, go here.
If you want to make a difference, here's what you can do:
1) Look up your congressperson or senator, and see if he/she supports or opposes.
For SOPA: projects.propublica.org/sopa/
For PIPA: projects.propublica.org/sopa/pipa#roll_call
2) Click the appropriate picture to pull up contact information.
3) Write a handwritten letter describing why you're unhappy. This is the best way to get their attention.
4) If you don't have time for that, call their office and politely but firmly express your complaint, specifically mentioning their support for SOPA (house of reps) or PIPA (senate).
Please, do whatever you can to stop these bills being passed. I know I intend to do so.
Note: Regular updates should resume soon. Maybe tomorrow. I have two posts handwritten that I just need to type up and I have ideas for some others.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Oww Drums Oww
In my head, I had a lovely post about the impact of labels on other people and why I personally use labels to describe myself, but my head hurts and I'm exhausted, so you'll have to wait for another day for that update.
We're in tech for my show and notes are generally keeping me until 11:30 or 12 every single night, so I'm tired with that. I didn't expect this week to be full of 9+ hour work days again, but it has been, so hurray for that. Anyway, as asm, I'm stationed backstage where I can keep an eye on the actors and help if anything goes horribly wrong (there are no scene changes, although I do have a single quick change involving three actors at once). The stage is completely devoid of soft goods and masking, so I am stuck in a corner behind some scaffolding and a half-falling down curtain (which serves artistic purposes, not masking ones).
Underneath the scaffolding is where the drummer is stationed. In front of the drummer, there is a drum shield. I sit directly behind the scaffolding and thus, directly behind the drummer. The sound that the drummer is making is bouncing directly off the sound shield and coming straight at me. I have that artistic curtain between me and the drummer but for muffling/baffling purposes, it doesn't do a whole lot.
For sitzprobe (where the band plays through the entire show for the first time with the actors) I sat in the house in order to keep the actors quiet, so I honestly didn't realize how loud it would be back where I stand/sit until I was trapped there during our dress rehearsal. After the show actors were asking me questions and I literally could not hear them.
Having thought it through now I have several solutions to this problem: a) ear plugs b) a hat (since i'm also getting a headache from the headset) c) spending more time in the back hallway and les time actually backstage d) a bottle of excedrin on my person always.
However, in the meantime, I have to live with my temporary hearing loss and raging headache.
We're in tech for my show and notes are generally keeping me until 11:30 or 12 every single night, so I'm tired with that. I didn't expect this week to be full of 9+ hour work days again, but it has been, so hurray for that. Anyway, as asm, I'm stationed backstage where I can keep an eye on the actors and help if anything goes horribly wrong (there are no scene changes, although I do have a single quick change involving three actors at once). The stage is completely devoid of soft goods and masking, so I am stuck in a corner behind some scaffolding and a half-falling down curtain (which serves artistic purposes, not masking ones).
Underneath the scaffolding is where the drummer is stationed. In front of the drummer, there is a drum shield. I sit directly behind the scaffolding and thus, directly behind the drummer. The sound that the drummer is making is bouncing directly off the sound shield and coming straight at me. I have that artistic curtain between me and the drummer but for muffling/baffling purposes, it doesn't do a whole lot.
For sitzprobe (where the band plays through the entire show for the first time with the actors) I sat in the house in order to keep the actors quiet, so I honestly didn't realize how loud it would be back where I stand/sit until I was trapped there during our dress rehearsal. After the show actors were asking me questions and I literally could not hear them.
Having thought it through now I have several solutions to this problem: a) ear plugs b) a hat (since i'm also getting a headache from the headset) c) spending more time in the back hallway and les time actually backstage d) a bottle of excedrin on my person always.
However, in the meantime, I have to live with my temporary hearing loss and raging headache.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Ramblings
I really would like to post, but am not quite sure what to post about so I think you might just get a free write.
I'm currently in tech but we have be in a hold for ages and during the run of this show I have nothing to do, so I have been working on my preset list (which is literally four pages long) and taking notes and keeping the kids quiet. But I'm bored so now I'm going to blog.
As detailed (rather poorly I believe) in my last blog post, I am exhausted. I have worked 70+ hours in 8 days, and one of those days was a day that I had off. Yesterday I feel asleep both in the middle of Sherlock Holmes: Shadow Games and in the middle of Sherlock (the BBC series) despite trying desperately to stay awake.
I have more time this week because most of my friends (with the exception of Lana) are leaving, which, as always, is sad. On New Years Eve we had our friend's Christmas and it was fantastic (fuck my actors are always so fucking loud. Fuck.). During the end of the night (actually the early hours of the morning) we sat down and talked with each other about our lives. It's so easy when we're scattered about the country to lose track of each other, but it was an incredibly valuable talk.
Happy New Years by the way (woah, the lights started changing and it was subtle enough that I though my eyes were just freaking out). I never do New Years resolutions; I have way too many things to work on in my life to make a resolution just once a year. However, one thing that I would like to work on my frequently is using the word "person". So often I tell stories about people and use pronouns when they just aren't needed. People use pronouns so often that I tend to forget that more than just being a man or a woman or genderqueer, that we are all people. We are all people and that is something that unites all of us, and I want to try to remember that more.
Since this post was mainly a ramble to begin with I suppose I'll end.
I'm currently in tech but we have be in a hold for ages and during the run of this show I have nothing to do, so I have been working on my preset list (which is literally four pages long) and taking notes and keeping the kids quiet. But I'm bored so now I'm going to blog.
As detailed (rather poorly I believe) in my last blog post, I am exhausted. I have worked 70+ hours in 8 days, and one of those days was a day that I had off. Yesterday I feel asleep both in the middle of Sherlock Holmes: Shadow Games and in the middle of Sherlock (the BBC series) despite trying desperately to stay awake.
I have more time this week because most of my friends (with the exception of Lana) are leaving, which, as always, is sad. On New Years Eve we had our friend's Christmas and it was fantastic (fuck my actors are always so fucking loud. Fuck.). During the end of the night (actually the early hours of the morning) we sat down and talked with each other about our lives. It's so easy when we're scattered about the country to lose track of each other, but it was an incredibly valuable talk.
Happy New Years by the way (woah, the lights started changing and it was subtle enough that I though my eyes were just freaking out). I never do New Years resolutions; I have way too many things to work on in my life to make a resolution just once a year. However, one thing that I would like to work on my frequently is using the word "person". So often I tell stories about people and use pronouns when they just aren't needed. People use pronouns so often that I tend to forget that more than just being a man or a woman or genderqueer, that we are all people. We are all people and that is something that unites all of us, and I want to try to remember that more.
Since this post was mainly a ramble to begin with I suppose I'll end.
Friday, December 30, 2011
I. Am. So. Tired.
I'm not even sure how much caffeine I've had in the last five (including today) days. I'm sorry for any horrible grammar/spelling/etc errors I've made while blogging. I managed to spend $25 on coffee in four days.
Starting on Boxing Day, the fewest amount of hours I've worked per day has been nine. I worked ten on Monday, nine on Tuesday, twelve on Wednesday, and eleven yesterday. I think today I'm working ten. We're in the space doing intensive spacing and with high schoolers, and that's not easy.
On top of my work schedule, it's the last week that most my closest friends (not to mention Boyfriend) are in town because of college's Christmas break and I'm trying really hard to hang out with them as much as possible. I have slept a total of twenty hours in five days and only been home for maybe...twelve (?) of those.
Tomorrow I have Christmas with my friends (which has been my favorite tradition for five years now) and while I have all my gifts sewn, I realized I haven't even wrapped them because I've been home so rarely.
So...I have really lost track of this post. I have no idea what my point was. I was spinning around in circles at Will's house yesterday because I was so high from lack of sleep. Basically, I'm fucking exhausted. I'm going to go home and sleep tonight so I can actually be awake for second Christmas tomorrow. Next week however, I have so much time to sleep and hang out. Timing was just about the worst ever.
Starting on Boxing Day, the fewest amount of hours I've worked per day has been nine. I worked ten on Monday, nine on Tuesday, twelve on Wednesday, and eleven yesterday. I think today I'm working ten. We're in the space doing intensive spacing and with high schoolers, and that's not easy.
On top of my work schedule, it's the last week that most my closest friends (not to mention Boyfriend) are in town because of college's Christmas break and I'm trying really hard to hang out with them as much as possible. I have slept a total of twenty hours in five days and only been home for maybe...twelve (?) of those.
Tomorrow I have Christmas with my friends (which has been my favorite tradition for five years now) and while I have all my gifts sewn, I realized I haven't even wrapped them because I've been home so rarely.
So...I have really lost track of this post. I have no idea what my point was. I was spinning around in circles at Will's house yesterday because I was so high from lack of sleep. Basically, I'm fucking exhausted. I'm going to go home and sleep tonight so I can actually be awake for second Christmas tomorrow. Next week however, I have so much time to sleep and hang out. Timing was just about the worst ever.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Tradition
Thus far in my blog, I haven't mentioned the area I live in aside from Pacific Northwest. I do this for obvious reasons and I'm not about to give out my address. However, I do live close enough to Seattle to take a day trip into the city on the occasion and my family has done a trip into Seattle on Christmas Eve since I was born.
It's a funny little tradition but generally one I have a lot of fun with. For the past several years it's been my mom, dad, sisters, mom's parents, and Boyfriend. We do a lot of window shopping and have some delicious food. Here are some pictures I took (with my phone (I should have thought to bring my actual camera)) from Pike Place Market (mostly). No people or faces, just some of the gorgeous views.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
I Find this Funny
Talking with some of my friends yesterday and my favorite quote to come out of our conversation:
In regard to sexist jokes: "I'm not humorless, some things just aren't funny."
In regard to sexist jokes: "I'm not humorless, some things just aren't funny."
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Check In
Hi Blog, how are you? I've been with Boyfriend for the past week and have been too distracted to post. I will probably post a little bit later tonight. To my two or three readers, I apologize for the break in your regular scheduled programming.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Sleep
For the past month I have been sleeping very poorly. Either I can't get to sleep, or I keep waking up multiple times in the middle of the night, or I sleep forever (12+ hours) but don't feel rested at all. There were several days where I just didn't sleep because I couldn't. I'm hoping that my problems were caused by too soft of a mattress and sleeping in an unfamiliar location. I'm finally back at home now and in my own bed and last night I fell asleep practically as soon as my head hit the pillow and I stayed that way for 12 hours and woke up feeling completely rested.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Quick Quote
I am currently rewatching the reboot of Doctor Who (for possibly the third, maybe the first time) and there is a line in the fourth season/series in the episode of the "The Doctor's Daughter".
Donna: Does that mean she's...what do you call a female Time Lord?
And my immediate thought was: You call them a Time Lord? It was not until I thought about it a few minutes that I realized Donna probably meant you would call them Time Ladies.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Robbers will get Me
Innocent things your parents tell you: If you sleep with the door closed a fire will have more of a barrier and robbers will make noise when they come through it.
Result: I can't sleep with the door open, ever.
No joke, Boyfriend came into the bedroom one time a year ago and I bolted out of bed and hid on the far side so the robbers couldn't get me. Oh what the sleeping brain does.
As SMBC said:
Result: I can't sleep with the door open, ever.
No joke, Boyfriend came into the bedroom one time a year ago and I bolted out of bed and hid on the far side so the robbers couldn't get me. Oh what the sleeping brain does.
As SMBC said:
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Not What you'd Expect
I just walked into the green room and found the male follow spot operator cross-stitching, the male set designer brushing his shoulder long hair and worrying about wrinkles, and the two female actresses joking about masturbation. Fuck gender roles. Just fuck them. My life is better without them.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Help Wanted
There are times (many of them) when I wish I had an assistant stage manager (asm) or deck chief to help me out by doing the stage crew work for this show. Even on this small show my responsibilities are daunting with the stage crew work is added to my plate and I'm used to having an asm or deck chief (or even better: both).
Friday, September 23, 2011
Pet Peeves
Is there a reason we can't start rehearsals on time? I mean, technically it's my fault. I'm the one whose supposed to keep us on schedule but I can only say, "we should be starting now" and look at my watch pointedly so many times. I just want to start on time.
Also, as much as I love the show I wish the script could spell words correctly. "Biult" is not a word, "built" however is. The word you are looking for is "quite", not "quiet". And finally please learn the difference between "here" and "hear".
Finally, there is a guy at my work who only seems to own Washington State University t-shirts. Seriously, two weeks of seeing him every day and I have only ever seen him wear a wasu shirt. What the fuck?
Also, as much as I love the show I wish the script could spell words correctly. "Biult" is not a word, "built" however is. The word you are looking for is "quite", not "quiet". And finally please learn the difference between "here" and "hear".
Finally, there is a guy at my work who only seems to own Washington State University t-shirts. Seriously, two weeks of seeing him every day and I have only ever seen him wear a wasu shirt. What the fuck?
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