Friday, December 23, 2011


Fucking cramps. Fuck. God dammit.  They've been so bad in the mornings the past two days.  Doubled over, hard to move, pain almost to the point of tears (or this morning, pain to the point of tears).  I am so exceedingly jealous of people who have never experienced cramps.

The first time I missed a day of school for cramps was really the first time I had really really bad cramps.  My period started in fourth grade but in seventh, in science class, I remember having to limp to the nurses' office, white as a sheet.  I could barely walk and the nurse took one look at me and called my mother.  My parents immediately picked me up, but had to make a stop on the way home.  I ended up throwing up in the parking lot because the pain was so bad.

Freshmen and sophomore years of high school I missed a volleyball open gym one time and had to call my mom to go home early one day, but the summer before junior year I had the worst cramps I had yet to experience.  They woke me up, which is something that has only happened that one time (normally sleeping helps my cramps).  I was in San Diego and staying in a hotel room by myself.  I literally crawled to the bathroom, turned the shower up all the way to hot and crawled in.  I must have stayed there for over an hour, wishing for some release of the pain.  Finally the cramps let up and I was able to go back to bed.

The summer after junior year I was on one of the longest trips I've ever taken: a full month.  We did Boise to Reno to Boise (there may have been another city or two in there, I forget).  The first time we were in Boise, I was on the hide-a-bed (my sisters always made me sleep on them).  I couldn't move for two days.  My cramps had never lasted more than a day, at least at that horrible stomach turning, tear causing intensity.  I spent two full days curled up in a ball in my bed or around the toilet, throwing up, unable to keep any food down.  I had a fever and I honestly can't remember what happened during those two days.  I know people came and went from my family's room, but I have no idea who.  I couldn't walk.  I couldn't move.  My parents gave me pain meds that did nothing for the pain.  I have never been in so much pain in my entire life.  It felt like my uterus was trying to rip it's way out of my body and destroying everything in it's wake.

When senior year I got cramps bad enough that I didn't go to school two days in a row, I finally went on birth control and my cramps have been infinitely more manageable since then.  It's only when I go off birth control for a month and then go back on it that my body decides to flip out.

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