Wednesday, December 28, 2011


It amazing when I'm speaking to people how much I edit out details I don’t want them to know. Lana becomes my best friend instead of my girlfriend (this is the most common edit I’ve made of late). I was “hanging out with my boyfriend and girlfriend” becomes “I was hanging out with my friends.”

It’s not that either of those statements are untrue when phrased either way. One statement is certainly more true (to me) however. It’s not even that I’m uncomfortable with the full truth. I’m becoming more and more comfortable with myself every day. My biggest reason? Because as soon as I say something about being poly or queer, even just in passing, it means I have to explain and explaining is a) hard and involved and b) occasionally risky.

Is censoring my speech supposed to be so easy? Maybe I’m just used to it. My job requires it. The actors cannot know much of what the directors know, so I naturally change what I say to them. I’ve gotten good at it and it’s bled into my normal life. I’m honestly not sure if it’s necessary or if it’s something I want to change. I suspect that it’s a bit of both.

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